I receive all kinds of interesting spam email advertising everything under the sun, and a few of those scam ones with some foreign royalty that needs me to help them get some big bucks processed. I had made the mistake one night of signing up for a free online dating service, totally free. BIG mistake. However the humor value associated was high, my sister signed up too and we spent and evening sipping wine and laughing so hard at the profiles and photos by the time we were finished we’d cried our makeup off from laughing to tears!
So, when I kept getting ads for eHarmony, I blew it off. I actually know people that were turned down after taking their extensive ‘test’ required for matching you to compatible individuals. It also isn’t exactly inexpensive. I mentioned it on Facebook last week that I was considering it, “To eHarmony or not to eHarmony” I posted, and many friends had something to say about it, as well as a few other sites (Match.com and True.com). Well, I admit it, I caved. I took their lengthy test and 3 cups of coffee later I was accepted. I payed out some cash and joined, what the heck, nothing to lose right? Well okay, the pricey fee but other than that?
It is a world of difference from the free sites and some of the pay sites for 2 reasons. 1) No doubt because you have to fill out the test. I recognize it as some sort of psychological thing, checking to see how you answer things multiple times in multiple ways, as well as gauging who you really are and then they use that along with your interests, must haves etc. to match you up to likely compatible individuals. I did research them and supposedly they really do a pretty good job. Seeing how I was not exactly scoring high on my own at finding men that I am a good fit with, that happen to have the same goal in mind as I do (finding a life partner I can coexist with HAPPILY) what could it hurt?
I admit to being skeptical about these things, highly so. However so far I have been pleasantly surprised. The 2nd reason it is so different from other sites is that you can’t go searching on there, they do the matching and you receive your potential matches daily. Once you are matched then you have the option of communicating with those individuals eHarmony feels are good prospects. That eliminates creepy types from perving over your profile and contacting you pretending to be all you are looking for, which likely eliminates a good portion of freaks. And the goal of the site is long term relationships, not hook-ups for sex. I can find those on my own if that is the goal, the line is rather long (and will continue to be as that is not my goal). I am very pleased with the potentials they’ve matched me with, VERY pleased.
My goal is to find a man that accepts me for who and what I am, all my perfect imperfections, and isn’t looking to change or mold me. I have a lot to give the right person. No rushing, this time if someone tells me what a perfect fit we are or that they are falling for me the 3rd time we are together, I swear I’m outta there. Not letting my heart get sucked into that line again, the armor is staying on a long time, heart locked down tight. I am having issues believing anything I’m told by men anymore, it just never pans out. I want to believe it when it is said next time because it is true, and not because they are saying what they think I want to hear. My heart cannot take much more breaking.
So begins my adventures in online dating. ..