The Dating Diaries ~ GU’s

For those of you not familiar with the term, GU = geographically undesirable.

One of the things I have set, and specified in my profiles on the dating sites is that long distance relationships are OUT.  I’m not relocating and frankly not into seeing someone as they pass through my area heading to their various sales territories, no matter how many times a week they happen to be here.   Just screams of “married with a girl in every town” kinda guy, ya know?  If you reside in or near Timbuktu, please don’t waste my time.  It implies desperation and I’m betting your  photo is hanging on the FBI’s 10 most wanted board.  I’m thinking a date with you might have uncanny similarities to the opening 10 minutes of an episode of CSI.

So, when I receive a wink, flirt or email from anyone on the dating sites, the first thing I  note is LOCATION,  LOCATION, LOCATION.  Assuming it is a respectable distance (50 miles or less,  though honestly prefer about 25 or less) I look further.  Do I line up with the desired build, looks, age and other criteria.  Can the poor  bloke spell and string together a complete sentence?  How much BS am I wading through (popular buzz phrases get nixed, I look for honest write ups).

I had a doozie this morning in my incoming mail.

Screen name indicated he had curiosity of epic proportions.

Location?  Williamsburg, NY.  Never heard of it but a little googling it is basically Brooklyn, NY.   Yeah, that falls within my 50 mile radius.  Seriously in a city the size of New York you cannot find a woman closer to home?

Next was his age, which says he is 52.  Now if I had to guess, 32 is more like it.  Seriously that or this one has discovered the fountain of youth and maybe I need to consider meeting for a drink some where close by, like perhaps Detroit?

His preferences for height in his ideal mate range from 3 foot to 5’7″.

Body type: athletic, slender, curvy, toned.  Hmm….okay

Pretty much all his essay criteria are  related to physical affection (I’m thinking Adult Friend Finder is more in line with his desires, but hey, trying not to judge!)

His age range of the ideal mate:  seeking women 29-40
within 5 miles of Brooklyn, New York, United States

*scratching head,  completely perplexed*

Yeah?  Someone needs to help this epic curious dude understand that there is a lot of distance between me and  Brooklyn….few hundred  miles to be exact.

And 29-40 years old…um 48 is just a few years beyond that, beyond what one might even term ‘the gray area’.

Needless to say I sent a polite thanks, but really not interested in a long distance relationship.  I decided not to bother bringing up all the obvious ‘no match’ areas of his and my profiles.  His reply:

“Thank you so much for the mail, well i just want you to understand that distance does not have any thing to do with true love. “

True, it does not.  But honesty might.  Not to mention being REALISTIC.

*bangs head on desk*


  1. hmmm… This should be interesting. I just happen to run across your blog and noticed that you have a “dating dairies” section. I found it to be very interesting and thought maybe you could give me a few pointers. See, here’s my situation… I potentially may not know what I’m doing but I met this woman online last night, moments after I changed my profile to “view” from it being down for a while, her pic/profile popped up. I looked at her pics first… because that is the first litmus of whether to continue or not. After seeing she was quite beautiful in a variety of settings, I continued to read her profile. Well, to make a long story short we winked at one another, traded phone numbers, and friended ourselves on Facebook. She seems to be one of these creative types, good sense of humor, depth of character, and so on. Well, getting to the point here… what kind of places or activities might be appropriate for a first date with this type of woman, when might it be appropriate to ask her out? I’d be willing to let her pick the place, date, and time.

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